I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
