Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
