Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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