So drunk its hurt
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
