you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
