Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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