Me too!
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
