i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
