"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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