i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
This is my gift to your gina
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
