dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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