well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
it glows. i had to have it.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
