there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
