I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being pregnant is like rehab
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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