I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
