We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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