doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
