I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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