Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize