i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
