"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
