Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
