Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
