week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
