Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
