mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
North Korea, Best Korea!
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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