i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
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