Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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