You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a dumb baby whore.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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