I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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