Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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