Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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