to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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