hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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