I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
