I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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