Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
and she was petting her beer can
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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