Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize