At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
