she woke up with a sticky ear
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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