Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize