I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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