he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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