Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
