his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
