Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
