everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
