so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
