I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
