Don't make out with my wife yet
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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