Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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