wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
that's an acceptable place to lick
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
